Forest of Broken Dreams
by GoldenManekiNeko
Summary: Usagi falls under a deep depression after his recent novel receives a bad review, followed by an angry mob of haters. Can Misaki bring him out of it before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

Usagi sat on the couch in shock and utter disbelief as he stared at the review he had received on his most recent book. How could the critic call his book disturbing and say that it made him sick to his stomach? His face burned bright red with humiliation and anger. Akihiko Usami had never received a bad review on any of his works and this one was beyond harsh. He figured with all of the publicity and popularity his books were getting that he was bound to gain a few haters; not everyone was going to like his works or him after all but something about this bad review left a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He always felt tired from the lack of sleep he acquired from putting so much time into making every detail of his novels perfect but this time was different; instead of wanting to get some coffee to keep himself awake, he just wanted to lie down in defeat and give in to the tiredness pulling down at his eyelids. He couldn't do that though; he had an interview on a talk show to attend and Eri would go berserk if he missed it. He hung his head in shame, slumping down into the couch as his bangs covered his eyes. Sure it was only one bad review but it was still his first bad review. The first bad reviews always sting the worst.

"Usagi-San; I'm home!" Misaki called out as he entered through the front door, carrying a stack of study books. He had just returned home from college as he removed his shoes before entering the living room where his boyfriend Usagi was moping. He was too busy putting his books away and tidying up what little he could to notice his boyfriend's saddened state as he headed into the kitchen to prepare lunch for the two.

"I know we don't have a lot of time for lunch before your interview so I'll make something quick in easy. Is Ramen okay?" He asked as he pulled the small packet of beef flavored Ramen Noodles from the cabinet.

"I'm not hungry..." Usagi spat coldly as his bangs remained over his eyes, hiding any hurt and disappointment in them from Misaki.

"NOT HUNGRY?! How can you not be hungry?! YOU NEED YOUR ENERGY!" Misaki explained as he went off on yet another one of his over-exaggerated rampages. He then calmed down with a look of confusion once he finally noticed how quiet his boyfriend was being.

"Hey; what's wrong?" He asked as he approached him in concern, taking a seat next to him on the couch. Usagi was already usually a very quiet person who always kept to himself but something seemed off about him today and Misaki could feel it. Usagi seemed slightly saddened though his demeanor usually lacked emotion and he was usually starving by the time Misaki was beginning to cook lunch and would often complain about how long it was taking him to prepare the meal but this time he wasn't hungry. He felt sick to his stomach and like he didn't deserve the nourishment the food would provide for his body. Something at the very back of his mind was telling him that he didn't want the nourishment anymore but he shrugged this feeling off as mere self pity.

"Nothing is wrong...Don't worry about it..." He replied darkly but Misaki wasn't ready to give up yet. He was determined to figure out what was wrong with his partner if it killed him.

"Come on; don't lie to me. I can tell something's bothering you; now what is it?!" He demanded, furrowing his eyebrows in both frustration and determination.

"I said nothing is wrong; now drop it!" Usagi snapped for the first time in his life. This shocked Misaki. Never once did Akihiko Usami ever openly express his anger aside from a dark-minded, chilling glare. He had never yelled at Misaki before or anyone for that matter but he was already feeling bad enough without Misaki drilling him for answers. Besides, It's not like he would even care; Usagi remembered what his Father had said to him whenever he would come to him with a problem. He would always shrug it off as a problem of little importance since it wasn't his problem to deal with aside from his Son's crying. His older brother was the same way and over time, Akihiko had learned not to trust anyone with his personal problems, assuming they wouldn't understand or care at all.

Misaki looked down sadly, shivering a bit from fear at Usagi's sudden outburst as he was now on the verge of tears. Usagi now felt bad as his glare softened a bit. It wasn't the poor kid's fault; he was only trying to help. He let out a defeated sigh as his violet eyes returned to the floor from where they were once staring.

"Miskaki; I'm sorry...I didn't mean to snap at you like that; I just have a lot on my mind at the moment that's all..." he admitted as his bangs once again covered his eyes.

"Like what?" Misaki asked softly in concern as his olive-green eyes glanced back over at his beloved partner. Usagi glanced back over at Misaki a bit forlornly, ready to reveal the truth about his feelings toward the bad review when they were both interrupted by Eri's loud, shrill voice.

"Usagi-San! It's time for your big interview on National Television!" Eri cheered with excitement as stars appeared in her eyes. It wasn't so much excitement for Usagi as it was excitement about the publicity for herself as Usagi had managed to get her, Misaki and Ryuichiro screen time on the show as well.

"Let's hurry up and go! Go! Go! Before we're late! Late! Late!" She cheered as she physically pulled Usagi and Misaki up from the couch by their arms and forcefully dragged them over to the door. She stopped briefly in concern when she noticed Usagi lacked any signs of movement let alone struggle. He just hung limp and lifeless like a rag doll as the only thing holding him up was his and Eri's conjoined arms.

"Usagi-San?" Misaki asked softly in concern as Eri gently shook him in confusion to see if he was even still alive. It was then he suddenly sprung back to life and began heading out the door.

"Yes; we had better get going before we are late..." He finally agreed. He figured that maybe seeing all of his screaming fans that actually enjoyed his book would cheer him up a bit but little did he know that his recent book had struck up a National outrage amongst a minority of the public and most of the minority would be attending the show's audience.

"Hiya viewing world! I'm Raikou Takanawa, host of the ever so popular Takanawa Show!" The T.V show's host announced excitedly as the crowd cheered before he took a seat on the circular couch. Raikou was your typical grey-haired T.V show host, wearing a tuxito in an attempt to look 'good' on Television despite his old age. He grinned sinisterly before continuing his speech in an obnoxiously loud voice.

"Our first guest today will be a well known writer who's books have sent all of Japan into a riot. Give it up for Akihiko Usami, more commonly known as Usagi!" Raikou cheered as Usagi, Misaki, Eri and Ryuichiro walked out onto the stage. Eri and Ryuichiro smirked proudly and waved to the crowd but then frowned once they were all booed by the audience. They were all mildly surprised by the audience's hostility but Usagi was shocked beyond belief. Never in all his life had he ever been booed by anyone. That sick feeling returned to his stomach along with an empty hollow feeling but he shrugged it off, his face returning to it's emotionless demeanor as he took a seat on the couch along with Misaki, Eri and Ryuichiro who were still in complete and utter shock.

"So Usagi-San; Tell us all about your new book." Raikou grinned as he leaned the microphone toward Usagi's mouth.

"It is a continuation of my series of romantic novels..." Usagi replied in a matter of factly tone before the microphone was removed from his lips once again.

"I'm surprised you even showed your face in public today after the bad review you received in this morning's Paper." Raikou pointed out as a picture of the News Paper article containing the bad review on Usagi's recent book appeared on the large T.V screen above him. This struck a nerve in both Usagi and Misaki but Usagi kept it well hidden as Misaki seethed quietly. He didn't even know that Usagi had received a bad review and the review itself was pretty harsh now that Misaki was able to read it for himself.

The review read: Akihiko Usami's most recent novel made me sick to my stomach: It was disgusting, disturbing and he should just give up on writing all together and rid the world of this garbage he calls literature.

A majority of the crowd booed him once more as the rest laughed at his pain, furthering his humiliation as his face began to redden again but he remained emotionless.

"I refuse to have a discussion about that close-minded neanderthal's opinion..." Usagi replied coldly, hatred burning in his violet eyes.

"So now you're calling one of Japan's most intelligent critics a neanderthal?" Raikou smirked as the audience once again booed him. Usagi remained silent and emotionless as Raikou continued.

"You know Usagi, that critic was right; you should just give up on writing all together because you really outraged a lot of bloggers. They even started an entire hate page about you on Fumblr." Raikou added with a teasing smirk. At first, Usagi's eye just twitched in annoyance but then his countenance returned to complete and utter shock upon hearing that he was being talked about negatively on a popular website. His novel couldn't have possibly been that bad but he was proven wrong when the flatscreen above them showed the popular website known as Fumblr's home page blowing up with posts and they were all about Usagi and how bad his recent novel was. They even went as far as to criticize some of his older novels, say he was a bad person for even writing to begin with, saying that they wished he was dead and even a couple of bloggers discussing a plot to harass Eri and Ryuichiro until they dropped him as their client so he wouldn't be able to publish anymore books.

This couldn't be happening. Usagi's world was coming apart at the seams. His writing was his only creative outlet and only way to express himself openly in a way that was healthy and that he thought was safe. His career meant the world to him and if it would have been ripped from him in an instant just because of Eri and Ryuichiro's greed, then he would be forced to go back to being the lonely person with no voice that he had been when he was a kid. His writing would mean nothing if nobody saw it. He would go back to doing all of that work for nothing which is why he published his work in the first place. He was tired of his talent not being seen so when he had gained enough courage to get his first book published, it was a special day for him. He had worked harder and harder to become better and better and to please the public. he had put most of his energy into his works, clawing his way to the top only for it to be snatched out from under him and for him to hit rock bottom in seconds. Though Eri and Ryuichiro had not dropped him yet nor were they planning to despite the blogger's plans, this still filled Usagi with a great amount of fear and anxiety as he felt his heart shatter and his thoughts begin to race.

For the first time in his life since he was a small child, Akihiko Usami was on the verge of tears. He gritted his teeth as he fought them back with all his strength, his bangs covering his eyes again. He refused to be seen crying in public let alone on National Television. He had to leave and fast.

"Usagi-San?!" Misaki gasped, appearing both shocked and concerned at his beloved boyfriend's state. Eri and Ryuichiro had turned their attention to their client, unaware of what was going to happen next but they were both equally worried and would stand by Usagi no matter what the public said. He was a star and they thought his literature deserved to be heard whether the public liked it or not and they were willing to put up with a few protesters to keep their most talented client's works seen.

"I am leaving...This interview is over..." Usagi tried to keep his voice emotionless but he was so distraught at the moment that it sounded shaky and began cracking a bit. He quickly turned and stormed off of the stage, the cameras following him until he had completely left the building. This angered Misaki greatly. He didn't understand how people could be so cruel and put his partner through this much pain and anguish. He stood up from his seat and punched Raikou in the face with as much power and force as his arm would allow him, knocking him from his seat and causing him to drop his microphone as he fell to the floor.

"You idiots! You monsters!" Misaki yelled as he picked up the microphone so the audience could hear him more clearly.

"Disgusting, filthy animals all of you! You all make me sick! Do you know how much hard work and effort Usagi or any writer for that matter puts into their novels?! Can't you all just for once in your worthless, pathetic lives appreciate what all of these writers and artists do to entertain us?! YOU INGRATES!" Misaki yelled into the microphone as Raikou, Eri, Ryuichiro and even the audience stared at him in both shock and awe before becoming awkwardly silent.

Misaki breathed heavily as he was now seething but then he calmed down a bit when he remembered how emotionally destroyed Usagi looked before he left. He couldn't help but worry about his partner as his glare softened slightly.

Usagi unknown to others, was walking back toward his home, hanging his head in shame and defeat as his bangs kept his eyes hidden. Upon closer examination, tears could be seen streaming the broken man's face as he breathed heavily to keep from sobbing out loud.

Chapter: 1 of 4


	2. Chapter 2: Never Ending Nightmare

First, a rumble was felt then a quake before ash and soot erupted from the tip of Mount Fuji and cascaded down the volcano's side. I ran down the mountain for dear life in an attempt to escape as I could hear the hikers behind me scream in terror and agony before they were engulfed in the unforgiving black powder.

I ran as fast as my legs could cary me, ignoring the fact that I could barely breath until I finally reached the bottom of the mountain. I cut through a nearby forest as i stumbled about, trying not to lose my balance from the volcano's unforgiving quakes and rumbles. It was then, my foot got caught in a few of the overgrown tree roots, stopping me in my tracks. I struggled frantically to pull my leg free as the ashes surrounded me, blinding me and weakening my air supply. I coughed and fanned the thick smoke away as it thankfully died down to a light fog. I then continued trying to pull my foot free but I was too late; the bright orange and red, flaming lava had erupted from the volcano's tip, cascading down the mountain's side and making it's way toward me.

I pulled and struggled even harder but when i looked down more vines and roots entangled around my legs. It didn't take me long to realize that they were gradually turning into bony, skeletal-like hands grasping at my legs and shredding my clothing.

I screamed and cried out for help but my cries went unheard as the scalding lave rushed over me like a sea of unforgiving heat. It did't hurt surprisingly; it felt kind of nice, like taking a hot bath. Though my skin was gradually beginning to melt off, I barely felt it at all. It was no different from dead skin shedding off of you after a bad sunburn which was basically what it was now, dead skin, seeing as how all that was left of me was a charred, blackened skeleton.

I felt hot, I felt feverish but the feeling soon subsided as the cool roots and vines wrapped around me in a loving embrace, gradually pulling me down into the cool, moist soil.

This was only one of the many nightmares that had awoken Usagi with a start in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. He breathed heavily, glancing around the room and then at himself to reassure himself that he was still alive and that none of the events in his nightmare had taken place.

He breathed a sigh of relief, running a hand through his messy hair. His nightmare wasn't entirely bad; in fact it was a little peaceful compared to the nightmare he was facing in real life. He glanced at his clock, seeing it was six in the morning. The sun would be rising soon. He mentally cursed as he realized that he was in fact still alive and was awake to face yet another dreadful day.

It had been three days since his talk show interview had gone horribly wrong and the haters had not stopped harassing him since. He was all over the news, he was discussed on other famous talk shows and protesters had ambushed him, cussing him out and telling him to commit suicide on numerous occasions if they saw him anywhere in public and he was obviously tired of having to push on through this miserable life that he once found enjoyable.

He frowned brokenly once again as he stood up from his bed, wearing nothing but a pair of dark-grey pajama bottoms. He tiredly shuffled out of his room and into the bathroom as he approached his full body mirror, taking a good look at his current appearance. His skin was paler than usual from lack of sunlight, there were red splotches under his eyes from the endless crying he had been doing when he was awake and his body was becoming thinner and wasting away. He had barely eaten since that fateful day and what little he did eat was only a few small bites of food as to not concern Misaki too much.

Misaki however, was greatly concerned for his boyfriend. Usagi barely paid any attention to him anymore. He would just lock himself in his room and sleep though most of the day and night. He missed the way Usagi would tease him and playfully pin him, he missed the way Usagi use to be, he missed his boyfriend but Eri and Ryuichiro told Misaki to give Usagi some space and that he needed a vacation whenever he would try to check on him.

This time, Eri and Ryuichiro weren't here. They were off attending a meeting and were no longer in Misaki's way of reaching out to Usagi. He quietly suck out of the bedroom once he had heard Usagi exit his bedroom and approached the bathroom. He raised his hand and gently knocked on the door to avoid catching Usagi in private moment when the door lightly creaked open. Misaki blushed lightly from embarrassment at first but what he saw shocked him.

Usagi was sitting on the bathroom floor, his back pressed against the mirror and his knees pulled tightly against his chest as he cried softly into them. It had been a while since Misaki had seen Usagi cry but even then it wasn't to this extent. He looked so fragile, helpless and broken like a small child alone and afraid.

"Usagi-san..." Misaki whispered lightly as he stared at the crying man before him sympathetically. Usagi grew quiet but he didn't dare look his partner in the eye.

"I wish to be alone..." He grumbled darkly as he kept his face buried into his knees.

"No! I'll never leave you alone again..." Misaki dropped to his knee near Usagi and hugged him tightly in an attempt to comfort him but this did little as Misaki himself was on the verge of tears. This was all his fault; if only he had ignored Eri and Ryuichiro's requests, if only he had checked on him more, if only he had taken the time to talk to him about all of this. Usagi needed him and he left him alone in complete isolation. He felt so guilty.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry I didn't check on you more! I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about this! I'm sorry i left you all alone in your time of need..." Misaki apologized frantically, his voice cracking as tears began flooding from his eyes rapidly.

Usagi was surprised by Misaki's sudden outburst yet touched at the same time. At least somebody still cared for him. He flashed Misaki a warm smile despite his tears as he caressed his cheek gently to gain his boyfriend's full attention.

"Misaki...What I am going through at the moment isn't your fault...do not waste your tears on me...I am not worth them..." Usagi sighed sadly before looking down at the tiles on the bathroom floor. He now felt the true definition of what it was like to feel dead inside; he felt empty, hollow and as if his life held no meaning, worth or purpose whatsoever.

His dreams of becoming a writer had been shattered. Even if Eri and Ryuichiro promised him they weren't going to drop him over a few haters, he still didn't trust the public enough to put himself out there anymore. It was like kicking a Rottweiler puppy; when they grew up, they would always remember that kick and be untrusting toward all humans.

"Misaki...if I wasn't meant to be a writer...then what else is there for me to do?" Usagi asked quietly, his bangs once again covering his eyes.

"Hm? Oh, well that's the good part I guess; you get to find a new dream, anything else you're good at." Misaki replied with a forlorn smile as Usagi hugged his knees a bit closer to his chest.

"But there is nothing else I am good at..." He replied sadly and this was true; writing was all the poor man knew.

"Aw c'mon; I'm sure you're good at something else...What about art? I hear a lot of creative people like you are artistic as well..." Misaki suggested.

"It is not the same..." Usagi sighed. Nothing made him truly happy and allowed him to express his inner feelings like writing did. If he couldn't be happy what was even the point of trying to go on?

"We'll find something you're good at; I promise..." Misaki swore as he wrapped both of his skinny arms around Usagi's wide, muscular arm before helping him up from the cold bathroom floor.

"Come now. Let's watch a bit of T.V to get your mind off of things and please try to eat some breakfast for me this time..." Misaki begged as he lead his boyfriend out of the bathroom and downstairs to the living room.

Usagi wanted to refuse his requests and insist that he be left alone but he never could resist that adorable puppy-dog face that only Misaki could manage to pull off.

"Fine, very well..." He sighed as he reluctantly followed Misaki into the living room. Misaki seated him on the couch before turning on the Television for him and then going into the kitchen to cook breakfast for the two.

Usagi mindlessly watched a rerun of Lucky Star as he tried to ignore the pleasant smells of the meal Misaki was preparing. His stomach growled, causing him to to place a hand over it in concern. He was starving. Maybe that was part of the reason he was so distressed lately, maybe if he had food in his system he could think more clearly.

He perked up a bit once he saw Misaki returning with the two plates of food. Misaki, his beloved. He felt like himself again and this made Misaki smile upon seeing it.

"Glad to see you're happier now." He chirped before taking a seat on the couch next to his beloved and handing him his plate of food. He felt a sense of relief once he saw how Usagi began to shovel down his food hungrily as he smiled a bit wider before turning the cannel to something else that he hoped Usagi would find more desirable but he was wrong; the channel he had changed to was a debate show discussing Usagi's recent book.

Usagi stopped eating immediately and turned his attention to the T.V as Misaki fumbled around with the remote in an attempt to change the channel only to drop it. He cried out in frustration once it rolled under the couch. There was no way he would be able to get to it unless Usagi helped him move the couch but it was too late; Usagi was already engulfed in the hurtful, slanderous lies and insults directed at him once more.

"Usagi-San, don't listen to them; they wouldn't know a good book if it hit them in the face." Misaki reassured as Usagi stood up from the couch, placing his plate of half-eaten on the coffee table.

"I am full..." He sighed as he exited the living room. That sick feeling had returned to his stomach again, that sick feeling that wouldn't allow him to eat, that made him feel like he didn't deserve to eat.

"Usagi-San!" Misaki called out in a last attempt to stop him but Usagi only began speed walking upstairs, disappearing down the hallway. Unfortunately for Misaki, this was right around the time when Eri and Ryuichiro had returned from their meeting. No doubt they would blame him for this. It's not exactly like Misaki looked completely innocent at the moment.

"MISAKI-KUN; WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Eri shrieked as Ryuichiro couldn't help but snicker a bit at the brunette's predicament.

"N-Nothing! Nothing!" Misaki replied nervously, holding his hands up defensively.

"Then why was Usagi-San in such a hurry to get upstairs?" Ryuichiro asked with a small, sly smirk as Eri gave Misaki a disapproving glare.

"Um...He had to go to the bathroom really bad?" Misaki lied poorly in a questioning tone as if questioning his own ability to come up with a believable lie. He finally spilled the truth to them when they both gave him a disbelieving look.

"Okay...so I tried to get him to eat some breakfast and tried to cheer him up with a bit of television but then this show came on and the stupid remote had to fall under the couch before I could change the channel..." Misaki explained as he mentally blamed all of his problems on the remote for rolling under the couch when he had just gotten Usagi to eat a little bit of food.

"Misaki-Kun; let me explain something to you...every creative person who has the guts to put his or herself out there is going to receive a few haters at least once or twice in their lifetime. It's inevitable; success equals envy, equals hatred from pimple-faced, low-life nerds living in their parents' basements. Do ya know how many haters my success has provoked? millions! And ya wanna know what else? I love 'em anyway 'cause they make me even more famous and they push me to work harder to rub it in all of their fat, disgusting faces that I have a successful career and that they're just a bunch of nobodies! So if you think about it, they're really doing all of us successful geniuses a huge favor..." Ryuichiro explained in a somewhat stuck up but wise and helpful manner though the hostility in his tone indicated that the criticism still bothered him to some degree. Thankfully he had mastered bottling up his feelings over time so the haters' insults didn't bother him quite as badly anymore.

"Yeah but the things they were saying were kind of harsh...They aren't just criticizing him but they're bullying him..." Misaki explained worriedly.

"Ah, don't worry kiddo; he'll be fine. Usagi-San's a touch guy; he can handle anything." Ryuichiro reassured as he ruffled the still concerned Misaki's hair but little did they know how bad Usagi truly felt.

Poor Usagi couldn't handle all of the pain and pressure. He felt as if he were on the brink of insanity. The only emotion he had ever felt since all of this hatred toward him began was pain. Just bitter, cold pain and nothing else. No happiness only sadness and he just wanted it all to end.

"It was then he remembered the most recent nightmare he had. He died in that nightmare but he wasn't in pain; he died peacefully. Like he could ever make it a reality though; Mount Fuji was considered dormant; it hadn't erupted in years.

Usagi's eyes widened as he suddenly remembered an impotent detail about the inactive volcano, something that could permanently take away his pain once and for all but he couldn't let Misaki know. He couldn't tell him personally at least. He stood up from his bed and walked over to his desk, pulling a notepad and a pen from one of it's drawers. He was going to write Misaki a note.

"Misaki-Kun; this was too hard for me to tell you in person so that is why I am writing this note..." He began, pausing briefly as tears dripped from his violet eyes onto the letter he was writing.

TO BE CONTINUED...Chapter: 2 of 4


	3. Chapter 3: It'll All Be Over Soon

The next morning was a breezy, gloomy day as Misaki had begun cooking breakfast for Usagi and himself even though he knew Usagi probably wouldn't even touch his food. He was standing at the stove, cooking some sausage when he suddenly felt Usagi's strong arms hug him tightly from behind. He let out a startled squeak at first but then he just accepted the hug. This was the closest Usagi had come to behaving normally since the incident and Misaki was not going to object to it.

"Usagi-San..." Misaki couldn't help but notice that Usagi seemed to be clinging to him as his grip on the hug got progressively tighter. He then pulled away.

"Usagi-San; is everything okay?" Misaki asked as he turned around fully to face his partner. This was a shocker; Usagi was dressed in a nice tuxedo that looked like it was either brand-new or hadn't been warn yet.

"Are you going to a meeting or something?" Misaki asked. He was relieved to see that Usagi had begun putting effort into his appearance again but the tuxedo was a little too nice. It was so nice looking that it made Misaki feel uneasy just looking at it and on top of that; Usagi's skin was still pale, his eyes were still red and splotchy and he was still on the verge of Anorexia. He looked as if he were ready to attend his own Funeral but Misaki shook this thought off as it gave him a great amount of anxiety whenever he thought of the ones he cared about dying. He still blamed himself for his parents' deaths after all and found it hard to even visit the cemetery they were in.

"I have important business to attend to but before I leave I want you to have this..." Usagi pulled a folded up piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Misaki. He appeared to be on the verge of tears as he did so.

"J-Just promise me that you will not read it until I leave, until I am completely gone and out of your sight..." Usagi begged as he fought back the tears stinging at his violet eyes, threatening to fall.

"I promise..." Misaki agreed with a nod though he appeared greatly worried. Usagi gave a small nod back as a sign of thankfulness and appreciation before he hugged Misaki tightly one, last time.

"I love you Misaki-Kun..." He whispered before forcing himself to pull away. Today was probably the last day he would ever be able to hug his beloved again. He quickly turned and began speed walking out the door and down the sidewalk. He stopped briefly and glanced back toward the window of his home a bit forlornly. Misaki was watching him from the window in concern. He waited until Usagi had begun walking away again before he unfolded the piece of paper he was handed.

The Note Reads: Dear Misaki-Kun: This was too hard for me to tell you in person...That is why I am writing you this note...Misaki; I can no longer go on living in this dreaded life...Any amount of happiness I had left was taken from me along with my career and I am suffering greatly from this tragedy...I know I usually act as if I feel no pain but that is just a mask I am wearing to hide that I am truly broken inside...And that is why I must leave...I am going to Aoikigahara Forest to end my suffering once and for all but I couldn't do this without saying goodbye to you my beloved...And giving you that one, last hug before I left...Don't come looking for me; by the time you find me it'll be too late...Just remember Misaki; that it wasn't your fault...I love you...Love Akihiko Usami...A.K.A Usagi...

"AOIKIGAHARA FOREST?!" Misaki gasped as he felt his heart sink. Aoikigahara Forest was a forest located at the base of Mount Fuji and Misaki knew the forest was a popular suicide location in Japan. He had to stop him before it was too late. He quickly grabbed his coat and threw on his shoes before running out the door an taking off after Usagi.

"USAGI-SAN?! USAGI-SAN; WAIT!" He called out at the top of his lungs as he ran down the street through ongoing traffic, nearly getting hit by several speeding cars as he ran to dodge them. There was no way he was going to let Usagi take his own life, there was no way he was going to lose him like he lost his parents.

Usagi waited patiently in line at the bullet train station. He was terrified. What would it feel like to die? Where would he go once he was dead? He kept fighting back these fears and worries with reassurements that death was better than the life he was currently living as he stepped up to the booth to get his tickets, being next in line.

"One ticket to Mount Fuji please..." He darkly requested before paying the man.

"Hey; aren't you that horrible writer Akihiko they keep talking about?" The man behind the counter asked as he gave Usagi his train ticket.

"After today you will get your wish...You will all get your wish...I hope it was worth it..." Usagi spat bitterly before storming off from the ticket booth to board his train.

"Oh, don't overreact!" The man rolled his eyes when he noticed Misaki frantically sprinting over to his work desk.

"Did a Akihiko Usami buy a train ticket here?" Misaki asked worriedly as he could feel his heart practically pounding through his chest.

"Why yes; he just boarded that train right the there." The man pointed to the train as Usagi could be seen boarding it.

"USAGI-SAN!" Misaki called out as he quickly began running after him. He wasn't fast enough though; the train's doors had closed before he even had a chance reach them.

"Usagi-San; please don't do this! USAGI-SAN!" Misaki begged as the train began moving. He leapt down onto the train tracks and began chasing after the train with determination as he called out Usagi's name frantically.

Usagi didn't even notice Misaki chasing after his train and slowly disappearing over the horizon as he sat at the very back of the train to distance himself from the other passengers. He glared at them with pure hatred. He didn't even find the children aboard the train trustworthy. In his eyes at the moment they were all animals; filthy, cruel, selfish pigs that didn't care about anyone else's feelings but their own. He hated them all so badly that he had to look out of his window to distract himself from the urge to hurt any of them. It would all be over soon and he would never have to see their ugly faces or hear their nasty comments again after all.

Usagi was the last person to step out of the train upon arrival. The wind blew his hair gently as he looked up at the beautiful yet intimidating sight known as Mount Fuji. It would all be over soon. He walked down the path that lead through the small city and to the volcano. He made a mental note of how it was not safe or wise to build a city so close to a volcano whether it was active or not. He then decided that the people were all so cruel that they deserved what they had coming to them after what they did to him, after how they made him feel. Though these people had nothing to do with what happened, this is how Usagi felt about all human beings at the moment.

He stopped short of the parking lot near the entrance of The Aoikigahara Forest and admired it's stunning beauty and peaceful atmosphere. For once in his lifetime since the incident, he truly felt at peace once again. He couldn't help but notice a few dusty, abandoned cars that belonged to the visitors that entered the forest never returned but he ignored any second thoughts he had as he stepped over the caution tape, entering the forest.

Along the pathway through the forest, he noticed a sign that read: Life is precious. Think of your family. He kicked the sign over with great anger. Like his family even cared if he died. They hated him just as much as the critics did. He huffed before continuing on his way through the forest, stepping over the overgrown tree-roots and vines. He was careful not to get trapped in the yarn trails wrapped around the trees, left by those who were just there for the scenery and not the sweet, blissful death that Usagi longed for.

As Usagi descended deeper into the forest, the fowl stench of rotting flesh began growing stronger until he had finally reached the source of the putrid odor: The corpse of a man was hanging from the tree in front of him. He hadn't been dead long as he was just beginning to rot. His flesh was a red color and leathery to the touch, he was missing skin and hair in certain places, one of his eyes were missing, his mouth was hanging open, revealing some of his teeth had fallen out from decay and the flies that weren't swarming around him were picking at the rotting flesh on his hands.

Usagi frowned sympathetically before removing the corpse from it's noose and examining it more closely. The poor boy was only a teenager.

"I am so sorry...Rest now child; your suffering is over..." Usagi apologized as he laid the corpse down underneath a shady tree. He then climbed onto a lower tree branch beneath the noose. This must have been what the poor boy jumped from. He placed the old filthy noose around his neck and tightened it slightly. It fit like a glove and was warm and comforting like a hug.

"If the world wants me to die then I will..." Usagi growled as tears streamed his cheeks once more. He then stepped off of the tree branch to hang himself. This was it, it was finally over, his pain and suffering would finally be over but something went wrong, his neck didn't snap like he expected it to and the noose was just slowly strangling him. His eyes widened in pain as he struggled to get free but the more he struggled the more the noose tightened. It hurt and he couldn't breath, he couldn't even scream for help; all he could do was struggle and gasp for air.

His vision was beginning to blur but he could just barely make out what appeared to Misaki rushing through the woods to his aid before he blacked out.

"Usagi-San! NOOOOOOO!" Misaki screamed at the top of his lungs in agony as tears streamed down his cheeks. He quickly removed Usagi from the noose and checked his pulse. He was thankfully still alive but Misaki had to get him to a hospital fast.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!" Misaki cried out through the forest before he began dragging the unconscious Usagi through the forest to find the nearest hospital.

TO BE CONTINUED...Chapter: 3 of 4


	4. Chapter 4: Barely Alive: FINAL

Misaki paced around the hospital's waiting room impatiently as he waited for the latest update on Usagi's condition. Eri and Ryuichiro were with him as well as Usagi's Father and older brother, Haruhiko who were in complete and utter shock.

"This is all my fault...This is all my fault..." Misaki whined. He blamed himself for the incident just as he blamed himself for the death of his parents. In his eyes, it was his fault that those he cared about kept getting hurt or dying even though Usagi begged him not to blame himself in his suicide note.

"It's not your fault Misaki-Kun; Akihiko just wasn't as stable as I thought he was..." Ryuichiro reassured in an attempt to comfort Misaki but to no avail. Misaki wished that he had have been there for Usagi more, he wished that he could have done something, he wished that he had have arrived at the forest sooner, He wished that Usagi would have at least talked to him about how he was feeling instead or making an attempt on his own life.

"How could he?!" Misaki cried as he was now becoming angry along with a mix of confusion and sadness. Was he not a good enough reason for Usagi continue living? Was he not a good enough reason for Usagi to keep pushing through this obstacle? Was he not good enough for Usagi? He broke down crying again as Eri patted him on the back gently to comfort him.

"This is quite a shock to all of us Misaki-Kun..." Usagi's Father spoke up somberly. He blamed himself for Usagi's suicide attempt as well but he would never admit to it. If only he had paid more attention to his son.

"I know he was out of his mind but I never thought he would go as far as to take his own life..." Haruhiko sighed, showing no concern whatsoever for his younger brother though deep down he secretly blamed himself for the incident as well. If only he hadn't have been so selfish, if only he hadn't have tried to take everything from his younger brother. He was a horrible brother and he knew it though he would never admit to it. His snarky comment earned him a glare from the others and a smack to the back of the head from his Father.

It was then the doctor entered the waiting room with a somber look upon her countenance. Misaki rushed over to her as the others stood up from their seats to do the same.

"How is he?! Please tell me he's okay!" Misaki begged, on the verge of another emotional breakdown as the others waited in concern for a response.

"He's going to be just fine but he will need to be on antidepressants for at least a week and that scar on his neck won't go away..." The doctor replied in an overly cheerful tone. This annoyed Misaki greatly but he ignored any urges to punch her and asked if he could see his boyfriend.

When Usagi woke up, he was in laying in a hospital bed with I.V and heart monitor tubes connected to his arms and a nasty, red scar across his neck. He looked around at his surroundings in confusion as he sat up slightly when he saw a very worried and tearful Misaki walk in. It didn't take Usagi long to remember when he was last conscious or to figure out what had happened as he let out a pained groan and laid back down in defeat. He was still alive and he didn't want to be because he was still dead on the inside.

"Misaki...why? Why couldn't you just let me die?" Usagi questioned as tears began streaming his cheeks again.

"Because I love you; that's why!" Misaki retorted. The amount of hostility in his voice surprised Usagi though he still appeared somewhat touched.

"Ya big dummy! How could you go to The Aokigahara Forest?! How could you attempt to end your life and leave behind everyone who cares about you?! And don't say no one cares about you because you know good and well that I do! How could you do this to me?! Am I not a good enough reason for you to keep living?!" Misaki sobbed as tears began streaming his cheeks again.

"Why?! Why couldn't you just talk to me?! Tell me why..." Misaki sniffled as he clung to Usagi, crying softly into his chest. It was then Usagi remembered that fateful day when Misaki had pulled him out of the way of a speeding eighteen wheeler truck. He had saved his life then just as he had saved his life now. Did he really care for him that much?

"Why couldn't you just talk to me? I could have helped you..." Misaki asked him tearfully, unaware of Eri, Ryuichiro, Haruhiko and Usagi's Father eaves dropping on their conversation.

"N-Nobody usually cares about what troubles me when I tell them..." Usagi sighed as he was slowly beginning to trust Misaki enough to tell him what was wrong. Did Misaki really care? Would he dismiss his worries and sorrows as overreactions or would he be the first person to try to understand and at least try to help him?

"I care! If I didn't care would I be asking you what's wrong?! If I didn't care would I have chased a bullet train all the way to Mount Fuji and carry you through Aoikigahara to the nearest hospital just to save your life?! Tell me what's wrong! I want to help you! I'll help you in any way I can! I promise!" Misaki tearfully begged. No matter how big or small Usagi's problem was he was determined to find a way to fix it somehow.

"You can trust me...I want to help you...I'm your partner and when you're heartbroken, I'm heartbroken..." Misaki reassured in a softer tone. Seeing Usagi go through depression stressed him out to no end and seeing him cry and try to take his own life was just heart wrenching. This was how much Misaki cared for and loved Usagi; so much to the point where it hurt him to see the love of his life so broken.

"Misaki...I can not write anymore..." Usagi admitted with a sigh as he finally decided to trust Misaki enough to open up to him.

"Why not? Eri and Ryuichiro said they wouldn't drop you and even if they did there's always self publishing." Misaki asked, trying to get a better understanding.

"You don't understand...ever since this happened...I haven't been inspired to write anymore..." Usagi explained before he began to break down crying again. He had been traumatized so badly that he had lost the will to write completely.

"Aw, Usagi-San..." Misaki placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

"We'll get your inspiration back somehow; I promise...I'll be your inspiration..." Misaki offered when Ryuichiro suddenly walked in. Usagi was quick to stop crying and wipe his tears away upon seeing him.

"Akihiko-San, let me explain something to you about haters; they often come in small groups compared to your fans and they even make you more famous. Do you know how many of your loyal fans came to your defense against the haters since this happened?" Ryuichiro explained.

"People...came to my defense?" Usagi asked as his eyes widened slightly in surprise. He couldn't believe someone other than Misaki cared enough to defend him and for the first time in days he actually felt happy.

"They did and that is why me and Eri haven't and would never drop you over haters." Ryuichiro nodded with a small smirk.

"And as for losing your inspiration, you haven't lost it; you're only wounded. Haters are bullies that can put a damper on everything, even food and have been known to cause cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which is what the medicine is to help you with. You'll be back to yourself in a jiff'." He added with a wink.

"I do not want to die anymore..." Usagi smiled weakly before putting a hand to the nasty scar on his neck. Not only had he been scared physically but emotionally too and much like his physical scar, his emotional scar would stay with him for the rest of his life.

Misaki was relieved that his beloved didn't want to die any more but he was still concerned about something as he picked up a tray of hospital food.

"Does this mean you'll eat for me now?" He asked hopefully with his infamous puppy-dog face as he offered a chopstick full of rice out to his boyfriend.

"Yes Misaki..." Usagi smiled before eating the chopstick full of rice Misaki offered out to him. He continued to eat as Misaki continued to feed him until the tray of food was completely empty. For the first time since the incident, Usagi had eaten all of his food and had slept peacefully through the night without being awoken in a cold sweat from any nightmares as Misaki stayed in the room with him.

Once Usagi got out of the hospital, he was going to be okay. He would from now on ignore anybody who tried to bring him down as he didn't care enough about the haters to listen to what they had to say and he would soon continue his writing despite what they said. Misaki would be his inspiration, in fact his whole experience with haters would be good inspiration for his latest book. That's where I got the inspiration to write this Fanfic after all.

THE END!


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